A Lifetime of Valuable Lessons 

When I came to Dana Hall School as an international boarding student from Indonesia 30 years ago, I knew that I wanted to keep riding but I had no idea that Dana Hall School and the Karen Stives ’68 Equestrian Center would be my happy place for the next 30 years! Throughout my time here, I have been a student, an employee and now a parent of a Dana Hall sixth grader, and as I reflect on my time here, I think that the riding program at Dana Hall is a place to make connections and be a part of a special community that shares a passion for all things horse. Whether you are an avid competitor looking to push yourself as Karen Stives would say to “raise the bar” or you are riding your horse for the very first time, you will find that you are part of a community (both two-legged and four-legged) who not only “get you” but will lift you up in times of success but also in times of struggle.

As a 15-year-old third culture kid who spent the majority of my childhood in Southeast Asia, I was so worried about how I was going to fit into a new barn, a new school, and a new country far from my parents. Thank goodness for the barn and Head Trainer Cookie DeSimone who saw me sitting by her arena every day of my first week and kindly asked me if I wanted anything to do—and then put me to work in the barn! Thirty years later I have 22 years under my belt working at the barn, Cookie DeSimone is godmother to my three kids, and I have had the privilege to mentor generations of riders and horses.

The horses and the people at KSEC provide a sanctuary for so many students, and it is amazing to see how many of our students return as alumnae to ride, teach, visit and give back. There are so many invaluable connections made at the barn and they affect our students in profound ways that influence them for the rest of their lives. 

Life Lessons From Our Four-Legged Teachers

Horses and dolphins are the two animals that mirror human emotions, and while we don’t have any dolphins at Dana Hall, it is fascinating to watch the connections that our students make with the horses and how many invaluable life skills the horses teach. If you have a rough/stressful day, Red (the horse) might teach you to leave those emotions at the door because he is a little spooky and needs you to be calm yet assertive to convince him the sky isn’t actually falling. If you are stressed, he is going to be more stressed, but if you figure out his system he will jump through fire for you. Charlie (the pony) might teach a meek student how to be assertive and persistent; he definitely makes you work to keep him trotting but it is so rewarding for the students when they figure out his go button! Monty (the wonder horse) is perfect for those riders who need a little confidence boost; even if you get it a little bit wrong, he’s going to go that extra mile to help you out on course. If you need a warm hug, it never hurts to visit Charm (the miracle pony); she never misses an opportunity to knicker her way into the hearts and pockets of our Middle School posse that stops by with apples from the Dining Hall. Our horses will teach you how to ride but more importantly, they will teach you valuable life skills and allow you to practice them each and every day!

There are so many connections made with the humans at KSEC as well, and their influence can be seen for years to come. Our barn manager Paula has taught generations of students how to  sweep the barn, muck a stall and take care of the horses. The kids might not want to clean their room or make their bed at home, but there is nothing more satisfying than a perfectly swept barn, a pristine stall with fluffy bedding or the joy of watching a horse twiddle their lips when you find just the right spot when you are brushing them. Our students pick paddocks and empty muck tubs, get to the barn at 7 a.m. on a Sunday to muck stalls, show up in a blizzard to help walk the horses.

Our students are putting another living creature’s needs above their own on a daily basis and learning the work ethic that makes a job well done so rewarding.

Our equine massage therapist and alumna Sue Perry ’77 never misses an opportunity to share her extensive knowledge of horsemanship with our students whenever she is in the barn, gently offering a student a correction and explaining why something is safer either for them or for the horse; she also is the first one to call me up to tell me a positive story about a student who took exceptional care of their horse as she watched from her step stool vantage point in the stall across the aisle. She says that people often only point out the negative things but she makes a point of sharing the positives so that we can share those wins with that student. 

Alumna Francesca Stufano ’14 started as one of my riding students at 6 years old; she then came to Dana Hall and volunteered with our therapeutic riding program with BiNA Farm and this changed the trajectory of her life. She studied special education in college, worked as a Dana Hall trainer for years and is now the Executive Director at BiNA farm sharing her experience and the joy of working with students with disabilities with our current Dana Hall students. Students are sharing their passion for horses and making connections with BiNA farm participants in a meaningful way every Thursday evening and Sunday morning.

Guiding the Next Generations of Riders

I love watching the connections between our students, whether it’s an Upper School student jumping right in to guide a younger rider through the steps of grooming their horse or a Middle School student cheering on their teacher Ms. Elizabeth Kenny (Class of 2012 and Middle School Math and Science teacher) when she won the New England Equitation Adult Finals this past year. We recently had a Middle School Mental Skills workshop with sports psychologist Jenny Swanson and it was awesome to watch the students put themselves out there as they learned how to cope with failure (because in riding we fail a lot more than we succeed), how to be gracious in both victory and defeat and how to differentiate between coming across as confident vs. arrogant. Self-awareness and learning that no matter what has happened in the ring, your teammates will always appreciate a high five and a good job. 

For those of us that work at KSEC—myself, Carly, Dani, Christine, Nicole, Paula, Stacy, Jorge, and Kristin—we truly value the opportunity to guide the next generation of young women in a unique way. Using all the lessons that the horses have taught to help students practice the many invaluable life skills that will serve them well in life while also producing some pretty well rounded and passionate equestrians along the way.